Wedding Guest Etiquette: Rules to Follow and Faux Pas to Avoid
A wedding is one of the BEST kinds of parties … which means it should be full to the brim with joy and memorable moments. It’s a time to celebrate love, family, and tradition—and kick off a marriage with a heck of a good time gathering together a couple’s closest loved ones.
As a guest, your role is essential. You get to help create the couple’s overall experience of their day! But when it comes to multi-day, multi-event celebrations, what exactly does proper wedding guest etiquette entail?
From RSVPs to dress codes, this guide will walk you through the essential wedding guest dos and don’ts, ensuring your presence is remembered for all the right reasons.
Wedding Guest Dos and Don’ts
As a guest at a special event—but more importantly, a wedding—there are pretty clear, widely accepted expectations about the right (and wrong) ways to conduct yourself. Not only is this one of the most memorable days of a couple’s life, but a lot of time and money has gone into the planning of this special occasion—and it’s only right to honor that. Here are the golden rules:
Wedding Guest RSVP Etiquette
Your RSVP is your first opportunity to earn a gold star as a wedding guest. Many couples must wait on their final headcount to lock in things like rentals, food, and beverages—so ensuring they have your enthusiastic “yes” or bittersweet “no” on time (if not early!) is the least you can do. Follow these guidelines:
Do RSVP as soon as you know if you can attend: Respect the couple’s timeline and RSVP for all wedding-related events as soon as possible before the deadline listed on the RSVP enclosure. (Want to go the extra mile? Send a text with a photo of your invitation and let the couple know how excited you are to attend in addition to submitting your RSVP as requested.) If you need to wait for more information (like work schedules or conflicting obligations) before you can submit your response, make sure you’ll be able to meet the deadline, or prepare to say no if you’re unsure.
Do RSVP correctly: Follow the instructions provided, whether by mail, online, or via email. Double-check details to avoid mistakes.
Don’t assume you get a “plus-one”: Only respond for and plan to bring a guest if the invitation explicitly includes one. If a guest is not listed on your invitation, it only pertains to you.
Don’t plan to bring children if they’re not invited: If the event is adult-only, honor this request. (Similar to a plus one, if your children are invited to the event, their names will be included on your invitation.)
Do communicate dietary restrictions: If prompted, share clear dietary needs well in advance. Last-minute requests are difficult to accommodate.
Dress Code Etiquette for Weddings
Your attire should celebrate the occasion while keeping the focus on the couple and respecting their vision for the event. Dressing to the level of formality is just part of the equation—other things to be mindful of are the setting, weather, and appropriate dress for places of worship.
Here’s how to dress appropriately:
Do follow the dress code: Make sure your ensemble aligns with the dress code or theme specified on the invitation. Whether it’s black tie, cocktail, or casual, following the guidelines shows respect. If you’re unclear on what the guidelines mean, a quick internet search, or reaching out to someone close to the couple to clarify can help. (Avoid asking too many questions of the couple.)
Do consider the venue and weather: A beach wedding calls for different attire than a formal ballroom event. Check the location and weather forecast, and dress accordingly. Be prepared for both indoor and outdoor settings.
Don’t wear white: Unless explicitly requested by the couple, avoid white, ivory, or any other color that might conflict with the bride.
Do dress mindfully: When in doubt, choose attire that leans on the more conservative side. It’s better to be slightly overdressed and reserved, than too casual or too bold.
For a destination wedding, make sure you wear appropriate attire for the location and climate. Think breezy fabrics for tropical settings or warm layers for mountainous locales. Your attire isn’t just about what you look like as a wedding attendee, but your comfort level, too. What you wear can impact how much you’re able to enjoy the event—so making sure your clothes don’t get in the way of a good time is honoring the couple, too!
Wedding Gift Etiquette
The couple has put a lot of effort into curating their registry and planning their wedding. Giving them a gift is a simple but meaningful way to show you’re excited about their new phase of life. It’s less about the gift itself and more about the thought behind it—a way to say, “I’m here for you and thrilled to celebrate this milestone with you.” Here’s how you can contribute thoughtfully:
Do shop from the registry: Select a gift that aligns with the couple’s preferences. Ignoring the registry can lead to duplicate or less appreciated gifts.
Do include a thoughtful card: A heartfelt note adds a personal touch and provides a sentimental keepsake for the couple.
When to Give the Wedding Gift: Send your gift in advance or shortly after the wedding when you know the couple will have returned from their honeymoon.. To reduce logistical pressures on the couple, avoid bringing gifts to the ceremony or reception unless it’s a card.
The Ceremony
The ceremony is the heart of the wedding day, where all the love, promises, and emotions of the day come together. It’s your chance to be part of a beautiful moment that the couple will remember forever. Keep these things in mind to maintain proper etiquette at the ceremony:
Do arrive early: Aim to arrive 20-30 minutes before the start time—give yourself ample time to travel to the venue in case of traffic or other delays. If you’re late, your arrival can disrupt the flow of the ceremony and may inconvenience the couple or other guests. (If you find yourself unavoidably arriving late, do not enter the ceremony location if you cannot do so without causing disruption.)
Don’t use your phone—as a camera or otherwise: Turn off your phone and keep it out of sight. Resist the urge to take photos, check messages, or do anything else on your phone—everything can wait for the ceremony to be over!
Do respect traditions: Weddings often include customs significant to the couple’s heritage or religion. Be attentive and do your best to participate respectfully, even if you don’t share the same traditions.
The Reception
Receptions are a time for celebration—a chance to let loose and enjoy the party! But while it’s all about fun, it’s important to keep things classy and considerate. After all, you don’t want to offend the couple or make Grandma clutch her pearls. Here’s how to behave at a wedding reception to keep the vibe festive yet respectful:
Do sit at your assigned seat: If you’re assigned a specific seat or table, sit there. The seating chart was thoughtfully planned by the couple with specific considerations in mind. You don’t want to create confusion for the caterers & service team, or inconvenience other guests. (Just sit where you’re told, and then plan to be on the dance floor most of the night!)
Don’t overdo the cocktails: As a guest, you should absolutely enjoy yourself but plan to drink responsibly. The focus should remain on celebrating the newlyweds.
Do be mindful of the schedule: Follow the timeline for dinner, toasts, and dancing. Avoid rushing or lingering in areas not yet open to guests.
Don’t leave early: Unless you’ve informed the couple, plan to stay through the key moments like the cake cutting and final dance.
Do maintain a positive attitude: Even if plans don’t go perfectly, celebrate the love and effort poured into the day.
Conclusion
Being a thoughtful wedding guest is about honoring the couple’s wishes and contributing to their joy. By following these wedding guest dos and don’ts, you’ll ensure your presence is a cherished part of their memories. Remember, proper wedding etiquette reflects your appreciation for the invitation and the significance of the day. So RSVP promptly, dress impeccably, and celebrate with heart—it’s a day to remember for everyone involved!
If you’re interested in working with Mandy Marie Events to plan your wedding, we suggest reaching out to our team 9-18 months in advance of your desired wedding date. Of course, we can work on tighter timelines, but when possible, we like to make sure we can reserve your date around a year ahead. Click here to learn more about our services →